The Grass Isn’t Always Greener

The Grass Isn’t Always Greener

All of us attract people into our lives for a reason, and it’s to show us something about ourselves. What I mean by that is if you have a pattern, or a recurring relationship issue you’ll most likely continue to attract a certain type of person into your life until you become aware of it. You will continue to fall into these unhealthy cycles unitl you can recognize what you need to see WITHIN YOURSELF.

Many times when relationships start to become more of a stressor versus a joy, people either break up, or worse they cheat on their partner. This is usually because they aren’t brave enough to admit they’re confused about how they truly feel. I’ve been cheated on and been the cheater, so I’m speaking from experience. It’s never cool to be confused about your feelings towards someone and drag out the relationship. This typically leads to making selfish, foolish decisions that will ultimately hurt you and your partner. I had to go through his several times before I finally learned my lesson.

This is why some people avoid relationships all together…they’d rather not deal with the pain so they sacrifice the joy. Others tend to jump from one relationship to the next never giving themselves time to reflect on what made them happy and didn’t make them happy, so they end up making the same mistakes.

When we meet someone new the strong physical attraction causes us to overlook obvious problems and potential deal breakers. You will not find the perfect person or the perfect relationship. The goal is to find someone who is compatible and complementary to you. When you’re feeling your best, and you’re at your happiest, that’s when you attract someone who is “good” for you. Even if you’re already in a relationship becoming more aware of yourself, your choices and your level of joy is very powerful and helpful.

Statistics show that divorce rates increase after the second and third marriage. In some cases these second marriages resulted from what started out as an affair. If statistics show they have a higher rate of divorce that’s telling you THE GRASS ISN’T ALWAYS GREENER on the other side.

Basically if you don’t evolve neither will your relationships. This is why it’s wise to not bank on another person to COMPLETE you, or fill any void. If you know exactly what you need, want and desire and aren’t afraid to confidently seek that for yourself you’re more likely to start off on the right foot with someone.

Getting older isn’t always fun but the upside is the WISDOM you gain. Now, when I look back I can clearly see a pattern in my selection of men and why I attracted them. They didn’t necessarily have a similar physical look, but they all had a similar upbringing which caused emotional blockages.  I like many women had a soft spot for these guys and after a few years I would break up with them.

Always thinking they had commitment issues when in actuality somewhere deep inside I had a fear of it myself. The fact I kept choosing these types of men was a sign I was blind to. It was hard to see it at first because I never had a hard time being involved in long term relationships, but it was certainly there.

Trust me when I say, you will be much better off when you can start accepting that who you attract and the obstacles you face with your partner are there to show you something about yourself and the relationship. Often times we don’t like to face the facts because we are all afraid of our true feelings, therefore we try to suppress them or ignore them. We all have attributes that cause havoc in relationships and it takes a warrior to willingly face that mirror. Sometimes we end up forcing a partnership that may have already run it’s course. While other times, it’s a matter of tweaking ourselves to improve the connection with our partner.

 

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Janie Terrazas The Mindfulness Coach 940-29-LOVEU (56838)
info@janieterrazas.com