Sex and intimacy are two major aspects of a relationship, yet not many men and women understand the difference, nor do they know how they tie into one another. This is why couples have a hard time keeping the passion in their partnership. As a relationship coach I’ve discovered the root of this problem goes much deeper than meets the eye.
4 SOCIETAL REASONS COUPLES FACE SEXUAL & INTIMACY ISSUES
1. Most couples aren’t having honest, open discussions about their sexual needs, wants and desires because they don’t feel “safe” enough to be raw and vulnerable with their partner. None of us are taught how to have this kind of dialogue, so instead we just don’t talk about it.
Once we start suppressing our truth, or pretending everything is ok when it really isn’t, it’s a recipe for disaster. This starts to create an unhealthy habit of withholding truth which leads to underlying tension. I use my S.A.F.E. Communication Method to help couples share what’s really on their mind and heart…even when it comes to sex.
2. As a collective society we’ve been programmed to look at sex JUST FROM THE PHYSICAL aspect so couples eventually hit a wall sexually.
“In the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to pleasure our lover or to connect with him or her more fully.” DiscoveryHealth
The sacredness and divine power of sex isn’t engrained in the Western culture. The raw, primal, mechanical part of sex is what is focused on, but the sensual, spiritual, emotional side has been negated. These represent the male and female energy systems respectively and both play an important role in sex. The female energy represents intimacy. If you still think sex is just about you and your partner “getting off”, then your missing out on the true purpose and it’s limiting your ability to reach higher states of sexual ecstasy.
I believe when a couple is meeting one another’s needs emotionally AND physically (outside and inside the bedroom) people are much less likely to seek attention from someone else because the SEX IS SO SPECTACULAR!! The feelings and sensations are much more intense because this type of divine union is feeding the mind, body and soul.
3. Most of the men in our society look to porn to set the standard for sex and what they think it means to be “GOOD IN BED”. Let’s face it it’s not really the standard guys should be aiming for. In the U.S. most males are getting their sex ed from pornography, and for those who watch it regularly it’s training their brain to be attracted to that and mostly that. (hint hint: fast, hard and ultra kinky isn’t ALWAYS what women want)