The best way to reach your full potential in love and life is to live virtuously. I strive to live by these set of Love Virtues every single day. They nurture and cultivate positivity, creativity and vitality. Doing your best to honor these virtues through your thoughts, words and actions is an excellent way to illuminate your love life.
Honoring them and practicing my Seven Positive Daily Habits, will help keep your fears and negative thoughts in check. Plus, it will allow more happiness, love and abundance of wonderfulness to flow your way.
Although there isn’t an order of importance to the above list, Courage is first because you’ll need it to remain consistent with the others.
Courage
Unity
Honesty
Kindness
Mindfulness
Compassion
Forgiveness
Gratitude
Balance
Pleasure
Humility
Understanding
Patience
Equality
1. Courage
Courage is stepping out of your comfort zone. Whether it’s something small like saying hello to someone you think is cute, or brightening someone’s day by doing a random act of kindness — or even something as big as quitting a job that makes you miserable — you’re being courageous which helps build your self-confidence.
True confidence is when you’re able to honor your true self without fear of being judged. Knowing who you are, what you stand for, what you believe in and remaining strong in your convictions is very powerful.
2. Unity
When you unite your mind with your heart, and create a healthy relationship between the two, it’s much easier to embody the concept of oneness. Understanding that everyone matters and that you can make a difference in their lives is what this particular Love Virtue is all about. Having reverence for all life forms, and embracing the concept of interconnectedness with all of creation will greatly impact your life.
3. Honesty
When you lie to yourself or others, you’re choosing to disconnect from truth and love. When you’re too afraid to be honest (regardless of the reason) you’re doing yourself a disservice. Not only does it affect your health by releasing stress-inducing chemicals into your immune system, but it also affects the overall quality of your life.
The more authentic and genuine you are, the more you’re able to connect with the greater part of yourself. Being honest is about being willing to honor your true feelings without fear, a trait most people lack.
4. Kindness
Any time a person is kind to someone, it makes both them and the other person feel good. So why don’t people do it more often? Everyone has the ability to inspire, encourage and help people. Whether it’s someone you know or a complete stranger, there are plenty of moments throughout a day where you can extend kindness.
It doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture, as it’s the little things that make a difference in people’s lives. (i.e., opening a door, giving a compliment or a hug, or sending an encouraging text or email to a friend who is going through hard times). The more kindness you extend to others, the more it will be reciprocated.
If your intentions are tied to an expectation of receiving something in return, you’ve completely missed the mark. Trust that a simple act of kindness will boomerang back to you many times in positive ways, especially when you need it the most. Plus, there are plenty of studies that suggest the kinder you are the healthier and happier you become. Being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others.
5. Mindfulness
Mindfulness has to do with your level of consciousness, which is how present you are in the world. Being mindful is about understanding that your thoughts, beliefs and actions impact your wellness levels and external reality. It’s about learning how to positively respond to the world, instead of chronically reacting negatively to it. How you perceive yourself, others and your environment is connected to your subconscious mind. So going through and rebuilding healthier belief systems is part of mastering this virtue.
Your life experience has everything to do with how much you’re willing to be responsible for your thoughts, words and actions. Learning how to use your cognitive thinking skills, and how to be compassionate, is critical when it comes to being mindful. Mindfulness allows you to see life from a deeper, higher, wider perspective by bringing conscious clarity to the forefront of your mind, which results in more peaceful living.
6. Compassion
Coming from a place of compassion and acceptance isn’t typically taught in our culture. People tend to be very quick to judge and criticize themselves and others. When people don’t behave or think like they do, they feel they’re wrong and they are right. When their expectations aren’t met they instantly react by fighting back.
How people choose to project themselves is based on criteria others aren’t normally privy to. It’s difficult to impossible to tell what someone is going through or what they’ve experienced, which is why everyone needs to “chill” with their judgmental attitudes.
It’s important for us to rise above differences, and let others be who they are. Now, if someone rubs you the wrong way, or oversteps your boundaries, instead of getting sucked into their darkness you can take the high road of illumination. Remember, just like everyone else you have weaknesses, fears and a not-so-pretty side to your nature. Living from a higher perspective of compassion and acceptance also plays into forgiveness. Note: We must have healthy boundaries when it comes to compassion and acceptance. Abuse and manipulation are not ok.
7. Forgiveness
One of the most liberating, powerful actions a human being can extend to themselves and others is the act of forgiveness. When you make mistakes it’s very easy to hold on to regret and guilt, which makes it difficult to forgive yourself. It can be even more difficult to find compassion for others when you’ve been wronged by them, especially if they don’t take accountability for their actions.
Holding on to a painful experience — and not letting go of the anger, regret, disappointment, resentment, sadness or any negative emotion associated with it — continues the cycle of suffering. Not letting go can weigh on you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually; therefore, forgiveness is more for you than it is the other person, though they also benefit from this loving act.
8. Gratitude
While many emotions and personality traits are important to your well-being, there’s evidence that gratitude may be uniquely important. Researchers are finding that gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation are more than just sentimental feelings; they are regarded as virtues that shape your emotions, thoughts, actions and deeds.
Studies have shown that people who develop an attitude of gratitude have a greater sense of contentment in all areas of life. It’s also been said to have one of the strongest links with mental health of any other character trait. In recent years much progress has been made in studying gratitude and its effects on wellness. A large body of recent work has suggested grateful people are happier, less depressed, less stressed, and more satisfied with their lives and social relationships.
Grateful people sleep better, which is thought to occur because they think less negative and more positive thoughts just before going to sleep. They also have higher levels of control of their environments, personal growth, purpose in life, and self-acceptance.
Gratitude helps puts you in a mindset of abundance instead of lack and scarcity. A grateful person doesn’t feel deprived. They acknowledge the contribution of others to their success and well-being, appreciate life’s simple pleasures, and acknowledge the importance of experiencing and expressing gratitude as a way of life.
9. Balance
Mental, physical and emotional balance are the main keys to vitality and longevity. However, very few people are living a perfectly balanced life due to a variety of internal and external (environmental) influences. Your body isn’t built to sustain a disharmonious way of living, so it’s time to elevate your awareness and do your part to find balance within yourself.
Just because you live in a chaotic world doesn’t mean you should allow chaos to bleed into your life. Stress is the number one culprit causing havoc on people’s immune systems, which has a direct effect on the quality of their lives and relationships.
Being overworked at home and at work has become a distorted badge of honor in the need to succeed. If The Four Pillars of Life (Wellness, Wealth, Love, Pleasure) are properly nurtured, balance and harmony can become an everyday occurrence. All four are interconnected, so if one is neglected, you can be rest assured the others will suffer to some degree. This invariably causes disharmony that leads to stress, and makes it difficult for you to enjoy the simple things in life.
Before you start placing blame on yourself or others for your unhappiness and lack of energy, you need to review all four pillars to see if one or more need your attention. Knowledge and awareness are power, so it’s important for you to learn why you are overextending yourself. People-pleasing tendencies are a symptom of co-dependency. This is when a mindfulness coach can come in handy, especially if you could use some guidance, motivation and support to stay on track to create more peace and harmony in your life.
10. Pleasure
This tenth virtue goes hand-in-hand with balance, because in order to experience it you must intentionally make time for it. Pleasure is what you feel when you’re fully engaged in doing something you love. Doing things that make you feel good decreases stress and anxiety levels. So the goal is to feel pleasure without guilt; otherwise you won’t reap the health benefits.
Ancient civilizations, such as the Egyptians, understood the importance of pleasure and its connection to people’s well-being.
Our society now looks at pleasure as a luxury when it should be considered a necessity just like sleeping or eating. At some point, many people stop nurturing the things they love most, like their hobbies, talents, passions and interests. Activities that are fun and enJOYable to you.
The biggest excuse is lack of time and/or energy. When you stop using your natural talents, and/or no longer engage in the things you love doing, you’re essentially shutting off a part of yourself (your inner child - the kid in you) from yourself and the rest of the world.
Pleasure is very healing, and brings peace and joy. You become connected to love when you’re in your pleasure zone. When you’re involved in something that makes your heart smile – you aren’t thinking about the past or the future – you’re completely immersed in the present moment which is freeing.
Cooking, painting, singing, reading a book, spending time with a friend, getting a massage, taking a bath, gardening, meditation, dancing, playing with your kids, journaling, spending time in nature….whatever makes you happy, just do it!
11. Humility
You can’t expect to get through life, and evolve into the best version of yourself, without getting comfortable with humility. A person who is humble can admit when they are wrong, exemplifies good sportsmanship when they lose, takes accountability for their mistakes, and is more inclined to apologize when they’ve hurt someone. It’s clear there is a kindness that goes hand-in-hand with being humble. Being stubborn, or too prideful to take accountability when you’ve made a mistake, or hurt someone is not admirable.
The opposite of humility is pride. A person can think, feel and speak good things about themselves, yet still be rooted in humility. These individuals are appealing because even though they recognize their greatness, they don’t see themselves as being better than anyone else. There is a big difference between a confident person who is humble, and one who is not.
12. Understanding
DEFINITION: the ability to understand something; comprehension. adjective - Having insight or good judgment. Sympathetically aware of other people's feelings; tolerant and forgiving.
Understanding does not always mean I agree with your point of view, or choice of actions. It also doesn't mean we can't empathize with someone's pain, just because we aren't them and haven't lived through their experience.
The goal is to cultivate a state of compassionate curiosity. One of the reasons we lack civility in our culture is our low tolerance for other people's differences and differing perspectives. Human beings are easily triggered, because we fear what we don't understand. Learning what active compassionate listening is, and learning how to use it when engaging with others - especially loved ones, will improve the overall quality of your relationships.
13. Patience
"Patience is the ability to endure difficult circumstances such as perseverance in the face of delay; tolerance of provocation without responding in annoyance/anger; or forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before negativity."
We've all heard the quote, "patience is a virtue", and it couldn't be more true. Each day we are given many opportunities to flex patience. Take advantage of the small moments throughout the day to flex those muscles, because with enough practice it will become second nature. Patience is essential when striving to transform, heal, achieve goals and learning new skills. Partnership and parenting are other areas in life that require a lot of patience.
14. Equality
When I use the term equality, I'm referring to equity and fairness. Every person deserves to be treated with dignity, civility and respect, despite race, sexual orientation, socioeconomics, religion or gender. Judgment, fear, and pride that divide, are what keep, peace at bay for humanity. Emphasizing equality in relationships cultivates a profound sense of worth and value for all individuals involved. This approach fosters open communication, collaborative decision-making, and mutual respect that strengthens the bond between people.
The truth is what we do to others we do unto ourselves. The latest science has proven everything and everyone is interconnected via the quantum field, so true oneness exists. When we hurt or harm others we hurt ourselves.
Unfortunately, our society often falls short of acknowledging the importance of respecting diversity within unity and cherishing the beauty found in differences. Embracing equality is the key to building harmonious connections and celebrating the uniqueness of each individual, enriching our collective human experience. By valuing and appreciating one another's perspectives, we pave the way for a more inclusive and compassionate world.